Ten months ago, I wrote about starting on the path to adoption. Since then, so much has happened. We completed paperwork, phone calls, hours of heart-to-heart discussions with each other, interviews, safety inspections and specialist visits necessary to finish our home study. Everything got finalized in February and we officially went on the “waiting list.”
Meanwhile, our house search, which we had completely put on the back burner, reignited when our friend and realtor Lori found what would become our next house. Our pickiness, combined with a less-than-stellar supply of homes for sale kept us looking for nearly a year. We moved swiftly after seeing the new place, which Lori lovingly referred to as a “unicorn” due to its rare characteristics–same neighborhood, open floor plan, didn’t need a ton of work, attached garage, space for each of us to have alone time when needed, etc.
Here we are, a little over 7 months into what we lovingly call the great wait. We’ve settled into the house. We updated the necessary parts of the home study for the new place. We’ve begun getting a nursery together. We even have a baby registry. Now, we just wait…
…for the call.
While the possibilities of the birth situation are endless, that call will basically be one of two scenarios:
Scenario 1: “Hi, this is so-and-so with the adoption agency. We have a birth mom who picked you! She had the baby already so you need to come pick her/him up today/tomorrow.”
Scenario 2: “Hi, this is so-and-so with the adoption agency. We have a birth mom who picked you! She’s 6 months pregnant so you’ve got 3 months to get ready.”
Either scenario will be a dream come true! Each carries its own benefits and challenges. Birth moms in Ohio are not permitted to give up parental rights and “give away” their baby until the baby is 72 hours (3 days) old. So, in scenario 1 there’s less time for us to worry about whether or not the birth mom will continue with the adoption plan versus choosing to parent her child.
I don’t care for the terms “change her mind” in referring to her choice to parent. I prefer to think of it as her making her final decision. I couldn’t imagine how hard that decision would be and I wouldn’t want anyone to feel guilty about either choice in this situation.
The drawback to scenario 1 is that it doesn’t leave much time for the traditional preparations for baby’s homecoming. You know, things like baby showers, ripping the carpet out of the nursery and making advanced time-off arrangements with work. The great thing is, we know everything will fall into place and that we truly don’t need much at first other than a carseat, a few diapers and some loving arms to hold the peanut. We’ve got all that and then some!
Anything can change between now and when we get the call. Even after the call, things can still change. The entire process is a great exercise in letting go and trusting that what needs to happen will happen. That’s where we are right now.
So what are we doing in the meantime? We’re living life as normal, working, volunteering, gardening, cooking, slowly getting the nursery together, hiking, working out and enjoying the wonderful community of family and friends we are so fortunate to have.
To them, I want to say THANK YOU! Thank you for the love and support you’ve given to us through this process. Thank you for the hand-me-downs you’ve been saving for us. Thank you for offering to babysit and have your kid(s) play with ours. Thank you for sharing our adoption profile with others. Thank you for helping us keep life normal–for cooking with us, hiking, chatting, sharing drinks and good times. Most of all, thank you for helping us make this not about waiting, but about embracing the moments we get together.