This is likely the most personal thing I’ve ever written that will be made available to a public audience, but I’m doing so for multiple reasons. First, I’m choosing not to hold this in any more. As an extrovert I often need to express myself in order to process through thoughts and emotions fully. Second, I want our entire family to have the smoothest, most informed, most efficient, and loving growth experience possible. I feel that as I open up more about this we’ll discover connections and resources to help in making this the most ideal process that we can make it for everyone involved. Lastly, which is actually most important, I want my future son/daughter to know just how much s/he is wanted by and welcome in our family. My hope is that some day re-reading these posts s/he’ll affirm what we’ve been teaching her/him all along.
For years, my husband and I have talked about our family and what we wanted it to look like in the future. How many kids would we have? Did we want a boy, a girl, both, multiple kids? Would we adopt or pursue surrogacy? How would our family & friends react? Would we buy a new house? Which of us would work, which would stay home? Would we hire a nanny or use daycare? What neighborhood would we live in? What names did we like? All of this talk was good-spirited and dream-like…kind of like a grade-schooler talking about what s/he wants to be when s/he grows up.
Of late, however–I’d say within the last year–this talk has become significantly more real and we’ve turned our dreams into realistic planning. We’ve discussed our desires related to all the questions above plus many more. We’ve even come to some conclusions. We’ve learned so much about ourselves and one another and we’re ready to make these dreams reality.
There are so many unknowns, but we are officially moving this part of our lives forward. We are so thankful to have amazing community who support us and we know that we won’t be alone on this journey–nor have we ever been. Much more to come, but it feels so good to “come out” about this.
We’ve spent a good bit of time on infantadoptionguide.com and Adoption Circle‘s websites, but we are very open to input, suggestions, recommendations and resources! If you or anyone you know has information or has gone through adoption (either side) or surrogacy, please let us know. We’re eager to learn and share. :o)
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As an adoptee myself, I would be happy to give you any input or answer any questions you two may have. Congratulations on this step!
Thanks, John! We’d definitely love to have your perspective. Much appreciated!
So happy for you both!
I’m so excited for you! I know a lot of people who use their blogs as a kind of public journal in which they post their thoughts and feelings as well as a “what we did today” kind of thing so that prospective birth parents can “get to know you” that way. That’s something to consider either with this blog, or with a separate one.
Your child(ren) will be so lucky to have you as parents! Lots of love, prayers, and good vibes coming your way!
Congratulations! You will be such an amazing dad. I wish you the very best of luck with the process, I hope it goes as smoothly as possible. Some of my best friends are beginning a similar journey, I may refer them your way for advice/commiseration in the future 😉
Thanks again, Andrea! I’m hopeful for a smooth process as well. I’m looking forward to sharing our journey with others so we can help it be a bit easier for those who travel this path after us.
Congratulations!! Saw this post pop up on my blog feed and just had to hop over to give my well wishes. What a very exciting journey!
Thank you all for the well wishes and support. I’m sure the road ahead will have its challenges so I’m glad for the extra encouragement. Again, my thanks!
You guys will make such good parents, I’ve no doubt! Let us know if there’s anything we can do to help. Very happy for both of you.
So thrilled for you both and for our over all growing FOC! This child is already so loved, so highly anticipated, so wanted and welcomed! Much love.
Thank you, friend! So much, love… so much!